bag of wees
weed
do not reblog this
I meant to say bag of weed
(via fuckboyflay)
You can always start again. Clean out your social media. Create a new account for your new taste in music. Study or work in a new city. Start socialising with new people. Choose a new signature scent and style and purge the outdated parts of yourself. If you don’t like where you’re at, but you don’t know what to do about it - try starting again.
(via angel-fxce)
Today, I fucked up… by having explosive diarrhea during the SAT
Alright, this wasn’t today but last Thursday at about 10:00 am.
I was taking the SAT for the second time in order to improve my score. Now, my father did everything he could to prepare me, such as paying for a tutor and making me breakfast the morning of.
So for breakfast I had ‘Malt ‘o Meal,’ which is almost the same as oatmeal but smaller pieces. That combined with milk and bread turned out to not be a good idea.
During a math section in the SAT, I feel this horrible pressure building up inside of me. It’s not your normal I feel a solid poop coming, it’s powerful and I have to clench extra hard to prevent any liquid from leaking. Also, remember I was trying to answer hard math questions while doing this was happening.
You arn’t allowed to leave the room before the section was over, so I had to tough it out. This goes on for about five minutes before I try to fart a bit to help relieve the pressure. Big mistake.
I let out a fast squirt of liquid shit that sounded like the gush of a squirt gun. Two people plus the examiner looked in my direction and wondered that the fuck happened. I tried to pretend like nothing happened but then I felt it dripping down my leg.
I tried to cover up the mess, however some guy next to me that I didn’t know saw, and said “What the hell is that dude.” Most people in the room stop to see what’s going on.
This is where the worst part happens. I freak out trying to make it stop dripping but release more in the process. A whole hose like stream comes out of my ass as I get up and run to the door. The door was locked.
I just put my head in my arm and leaned against the wall while the lady unlocked the door, discusted.
(via meanplastic)
someone: what makeup remover do u use???
me: just My Tears
(via aqua-pop)
